I mean i have dated a guy with a six pack that didn't hold a candle stick to a fit and more intellectually stimulating guy. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away. And body type doesn't play such a major role as you get older. I said yes. I know, it sounds kind of like a lame excuse, but it is a reason why he might be acting like this! Is total 7 days of no response reasonable to wait before I call and try and find out what the hell happened? and he might ask her questions about these things, but they aren't hurdles by which she can prove something; they are just questions about the way things are. The key I think is to make it sound very casual and friendly. Walked me to my car, told me he had a great a time and. but then I got nervous and sadI didn't know when i would see him againso I told him I had to go :(He was about to tell me when I could see him againand I cut him off. A friend said "shouldn't you ask him something back to keep the conversation going? "if a guy says he prefers women to approach, I think he's a) shy, b) has few options and is sick of approaching girls. They really like a woman, maybe a little too much for their own liking and they are terrified of rejection, so they do everything in their power to avoid this. Unless my shyness can be interpreted as arrogance, I suppose that's a risk? If any women read this article and read this comment, AVOID THE ADVICE GIVEN IN THE ARTICLE. Ever frighten the thought of seeing those double chins, flabby arms, muggy thighs and plump tummies? Oh this is exactly my situation too! I made out and cuddled with one Danish boy while he was touring the US, and it was me the one who had to make the first moves - he was too shy to make any even though he clearly liked me and I was obviously flirting with him. After telling each party all about the other for the longest time, they became more and more interested, but their schedules never matched so they hadn't met yet (only seen pictures). Okay, another reason why he is never initiating contact is that he simply isnt used to it! Here's my story. It would frustrate me that I was doing all the workuntil I realized if I was doing all the work he probably didn't like me. Thats why chasing isnt the answer. "However, the chase is NEVER on until there's an indication of interest from her part. Also, as youve probably guessed by now, a guy who does this doesnt have to be insecure! I know it's not "advice" but can you give any general advice when a guy initiates dating after an ons? However if you are just looking to get laid, have some mindless fun with Mr/Ms Wrong you can do whatever the hell you want.It's SO refreshing to see a man publicly admitting that women should not be the initiators, as in my experience men refuse to start a conversation because aggressive new-age women have them trained that they don't have to anymore. SCR888 ACE333, Since juicing vegetables removes the fiber and makes the sugar more readily available, you'll need to use that sugar wisely. We hung out the next day and (surprise surprise) got along great. WHO: ALL women writers! Thats the first and simplest answer I can give you. A similar scenario were this guy and I would text often, and I respond in kindness , never being rude always friendly. Just use some common sense, and let the guy know what you want and set your boundaries. They are different things! If he never initiates text conversations but always responds, he may be frightened of you. From my experience women are naturals when it comes to putting up the hurdles (because they are taught that they are the prize) but when they themselves are confronted with a few hurdles to leap from their prospective MAN they usually say WTF--"That`s not the kind of man I am looking for" In effect they are unwilling and unable to pass the very tests that they put the men up to. Thanks for helping us out:)"When you initiate contact with a man before you know his intentions, you are denying yourself the least equivocal and therefore most important indication of his interest. why is my response getting deleted? That's what most good guys will do. Andrew, I have been following your posts from past few months and they are very practical and positive. I said we can stay in touch by texting for now. Women, who, on the whole, are more interested in stable relationships, necessarily assume a defensive position against men, who (again, on the whole) are more interested in casual sex than women." Because men want more casual sex, and play below their league, women need to gague their interest, and making them take the first move is the best way of doing this. Maybe your guy friend thinks that you are a 5what then? On another blog, there is a fall challenge for women to make more approaches: http://bbsezmore.wordpress.com/2011/09/09/the-bb-fall-challenge-for-women-only/ Would you say this goes against your rule of not initiating contact? :-). It feels like he's ignoring me. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog, they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform. I've been hurt so many timesHe's the perfect man for me so far and I'm scaredShould I just have let him initiate the second meeting? I suppose I could be more verbal and compliment him etc., but actions speak louder than words, and in the same way men's actions are more important than their words, aren't women's too? I didn't text or email after. Well, his best friend came up to my table and asked me to go out with the bridal party and their fiends (limo) afterwards and I agreed. A man would give up and begin to resent you. I have seen guys work like the CIA to get in touch with a girl they like. If they don't though, then yes, you would need to initiate because he probably assumes that you aren't interested. Maybe, but popular sexism holds that men dread nothing more than to be fathers, will either suck at it or hit the road. with a smiley face and i do the same. This is usually the woman, but if it is the man, then he needs to follow the same rules I've prescribed here. (Keep in mind we didn't just have a couple of dates, I thought he was crazy about me until now!). As a college sophomore, I have made a lot of guy friends who I would definitely be interested in possibly exploring relationships with at some point, and I know that they are attracted to me (because they say so and make it abundantly clear in their stereotypical drunk-boy compliments), but nothing ever happens with them because I know a drunken hook up would be a huge mistake. He was comparing himself to his friend and asked if we had sex and I said NO and its like he wants to make sure he wont get hurt maybe? If you already contact them plenty, but they never take the initiative to speak to you, you can speak to them about it. Yes, even today many men will think that if you call him. It's so frustrating and confusing! Really, have a think. This is something we all have to go through at some point or another! You don't want to just send a text saying "why do you NEVER call, you ASSHOLE!" I met this guy and he "likes" my hottest pics. I don't really approach girls (in bars or elsewhere) that I couldn't envision myself dating. Now: if he is this insecure about talking with you, what kinds of insecurities will surface in the relationship, when you guys are actually exclusive? Initially, men can definitely be "fooled" into attraction by a woman's beauty. Then again, it is different for everyone and looks aren't everything.Do not ask your friends how attractive you are. The logic behind it is that pursuit is a masculine action - and by you doing the pursuing, you are taking the masculine role, forcing him into the feminine position which makes men feel uncomfortable. It's probably the least important thing that ever happens in a healthy relationship. That kind of behavior is not only annoying, but it can also be extremely confusing! Either one is low on the totem pole. If there was something wrong or bothering him, then most likely he wouldnt be responding at all. Now: if this happens to you and you think he might just not be used to initiating contact, talk to him! So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauers excellent video. Like a bowl of good soup can be made in many ways, and I like them all. I was separated from my husband when my guy friend and I got intimate. but I have dated girls who are very shy or are kind of new to dating or never had a real boyfriend and sometimes these girls are just really shy and need you to kinda push everything on them. hello everyone please click Please click on this post if you wanna paly with online casino.Thank you. But isn't that the same as with girls? He likes you so much that he is scared if he texts you a lot, you will lose interest! I'm trying to figure out if he's interested in me or just want to be friends. The strategy of not intiating is one that is the burden of the "underdog" - the person more interested in the relationship. You think as long as his facebook status says "single", he should be the one to be in touch?I've wondered about this a few times, because I usually wait for the guy and am often unsure if he is waiting for me to say something once in a whileI'm not a very extroverted person and although sleeping with him should give him the right clue (and I am very affectionate when we ARE intimate), I am not one who 'carries my heart on my sleeve' and I think men can sometimes be unsure of how I feel. Other examples of 'good' hard to get behaviour and 'not so good' hard to get behaviour?And this may belong with another subject/post (what attracts men (not including appearance) ? He wants to make sure that youre interested in him too, so hell just wait for you to contact him first. Do NOT chase him. It relives so much stress. Ask other male friends for their opinion of your hair next time too - just as a cross-check; I wouldn't be surprised if you get really good feedback though. Consume carbs within 30 minutes of training to restore the glucose you've used during your workout. The hurdles that a man puts in front of a woman are much, much different than the female hurdles that women use to filter male pretenders from the real deal! They cant stand the thought of taking any risk, because they dont want to be exposed to the pain of rejection.But Im sure thats not really you deep down inside, is it?Heres an article on how to make him chase you. If he doesnt know how to approach you, then it could be that he has a social phobia and is afraid of rejection. If I was unavailable when he DID contact me, as I sometimes was, I feel like it comes off as uninterested?I'm not dating this guy anymore, so it's more for future reference. HE should chase you, right? social phobia and is afraid of rejection. I told him I'd be available 'mid-July', which he accepted, but I feel like I've been on the rejecting side a few times now. Usually it is walking up to a girl you are interested in (at a bar, the grocery store, beach, wherever) and saying hello. I'm currently in a situation where I feel like I might have to be the one to initiate. So even from the female perspective these aren't random events. It was a disaster - he believed I was REALLY interested, and made a move 5 minutes into the 'date'. But this helps because a man will not just commit to any woman, no matter if many women are throwing themselves at him, or trying to steal him from you, if he has already invested in you, or decides to. No one can really answer how fit is too fit. I don't approach men in bars or anything (I could if I wanted to, in venues like that I'm not shy), but I want them to approach me. Women are just objects to you, always pathetic, only valid if they are beautiful. Normally he would be right to interpret that as dismissal. You see, more guys than you think to get really intimidated by intelligent or beautiful women. 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